Touche Touchet: Relationships and Romance Abroad

I honestly never had an opportunity to really clarify how I felt about everything that occurred in Nantes. I did mention how my friend and I totally discussed this happening or not happening rather - well before we left. I recall discussing this over the phone and in person. Most conversations surrounding the trip were between us coming home from work. Her walking to or from the subway and me in my car making random stops. I remember clear as day sitting in my car after work under the glowing lights of Publix. I explained that I hadn't had sex in a few years and I'd also found it very hard to get past the "getting to know each other" phase. I'm human first and foremost. I'm over 30 which is a very important factor in why I am single. I'm also Black which burdens me in the relationship leading to marriage department. I am okay with my own personal experiences and the statistics I face. I don't treat any of it like a death sentence and most of the time I'm content. However, I was quite concerned about going abroad with no action in sometime. I expressed that we both had to have a fling or two before traveling so far away. We both joked about being "Taken" or married off to French princes. In both scenarios I don't think either one of us wanted to be the American prudes. So in my opinion it was high time we both dated and whatever happened should just happen.

Secrets & Lies

Staying in Nantes was a logistical mess. I'd stayed at a remote hotel. My next hotel was more of a transient motel. So I stayed at one of the dancers for a week. Then I moved into my longest stay, an apparthotel. Everywhere I had stayed or was supposed to stay was in a circle. This time though there we're things around me. I had a bakery, a grocery store and a closer tram stop. I also had a large balcony in my room. I booked the place for 16 days and I took a room for two. While in the states she had convinced me that she would stay at my place when her friends returned. So I made sure to have the room cleaned and maintained for two. This meant extra linens and turning down the sleeper bed. I spent most days sleeping in and then going in my friends direction to meet up later in the afternoons. We also had the dancers keeping us quite busy. And her friends were to return soon. She explained that she may need to get out of their way when they returned and would definately need to stay with me during her finals week. However, having dropped her course I had really didn't know when to expect her, if all. So I pretty much kept the room up just to be alone.

Tres Bon a F Bar

I never had the luxury of recovering from jetlag without leaving the confines of my room. That very first full night I was coaxed out to meet people. The friend she was staying with was a musician of some sort. She had met her in D.C. just before our NYC trip and met her entourage. Her friend traveled with a band and a dance troupe. So when the tour wound down the dance troupe came back to Nantes. Since meeting them in D.C. they were brought together through social networking. My friend showed me messages from the leader about meeting up for drinks at a local bar. I thought the invite was genuine and approached it with a "When In Rome..." attitude.

Wore Out Welcomes - Written July 13th 2013

The journey to go to Europe and beyond was someone elses idea remember. I was just tripping alongside of her. Her goal was to complete a French language course in Nantes, France. My goal was to get a much needed vacation. We told each other early on that we must embrace the surprise. Well there has been so many since the journey began. The first was a few hours into my arrival in Nantes. She had been in class for a week and wanted out. My first mental reaction to this was if you aren't in class then why am I here? But then I thought if she was out of class we would have more time together. She would have been in class all week at the university and I would be left to my own devices nearby. Surely we would meet on weekends but she could want to be alone or have homework or something? I really wanted to spend her class time focusing on things and traveling a bit more myself. I thought I could just train hop to places like Germany or Belgium. I realized just before leaving the states that was impossible. So now there and already involved in quite a few non-refundable long stay hotel bookings - I was forced to wait to see whether she'd quit her lessons or not. Her doing so would be the end of my personal freedom and the beginning of a lot of regret in coming to France in the first place.

Traveling The World In A Day Part II

I headed down the platform and remembered all the things my friend had told me. She asked that I not talk to anyone and maintain all my luggage. She told me to hurry down the platform and exit north or Nord as they call it. When I went down the stairs my friend was there with balloons and a cabbie sign. She attempted to give the balloons to some children but they just ran from the gesture. I didn't even have an opportunity to breathe before I was on yet on another train. We passed gardens, a castle, bustling streets. I had planned to just throw down my stuff and go celebrate being 32 in France. She had an orientation at school in the morning and I was delirious. So we wound up at a small cafe near the train stop. There I had my first beer in France and a little dessert cake. I looked out, it was 9 PM and perfectly still daylight. I pinched myself and took a few pictures while she presented me with a birthday card. We then walked a daunting twenty minutes with all my luggage to her friends house. There I wound up finally connecting to wi-fi, taking a shower and passing out for the night. I hadn't been sleep before midnight in ages and then I had to be forced to wake to go to my hotel. 

I was terribly jet lagged. I didn't know what day it was, the time or anything. We walked a good hour total sharing the luggage load to my hotel. It was well off the beaten path. It actuality there was no real path to it, several trams and miles later it was down a hill, around a corner and a complete block down even further. When we walked in there was a thick feeling of no ac in the lobby. Then I get in the room and find no view and no electricity it was all primitive. We figured out that electricity was controlled by the room key and wouldn't stay on no more than five minutes with the key after room entry. Later I found out that wasn't some green or European thing but quite familiar to avid travelers even in the states. Out of the window there was a suburb view on one side and a major highway on the other. I was minutes away from a McDonald's. I had traveled over 10,000 miles in one day for that - a pre-fab fast food restaurant as a view. Later that evening I realized my room had a hidden kitchen which was a big plus considering McDonalds was my only dinner option. My room was so remote I had live chickens as neighbors. I noticed that wi-fi didn't work in my room or anywhere but the first floor lobby area. This was the point where I realized communication was going to be a nightmare. In order to use my phone as intended I had to go downstairs to all common areas for wi-fi. There was an ethernet in my room but only at the desk. The time change was extreme. I couldn't speak with anyone in the states until after midnight and most friends worked or attended school until 9 or 10 at night. So most nights, I would get dressed and go downstairs between 3 and 5 am to text. Oddly, there was a roaming troupe of security guards and someone at front desk at those hours. One night I stayed down there so long I witnessed the baker bringing in bread for that days breakfast. Sitting in the lobby there was no ac but open doors and windows. At night the temperature varied from 40 to 50 degrees. So I sat in this brisk air on a leather chair in lounge clothes. I had no real pajamas assuming I would be in my room on wifi or using my phone. Of course within 48 hours I was sick.

The illness was no virus or bug. It was simply a combination of jetlag, climate change and loss of equilibrium. I spent most alone time not sleeping but barking up a lung and using every tissue in sight. I then gave the bug to my friend and we both lived off citrus, cough drops and donated tissue from local friends. My little kitchen was loaded with market faire - oranges, grapefruit, yogurt etc. It took me a total of six days to get back to normal. I pretty much flushed the sickness with Evian and slept the rest of it away. In that time, I did experience a few outings, met some people and stayed in a traditional French flat. I did all of that quite sick and mentally off because of the time change. If it weren't for advice about sleeping after travel I'd still be on permanent vampire time. I'd just sleep all day and rise at night completely wired. Instead I had to adapt by staying up and busy to sleep at midnight or later and wake when ready. This was also confusing because Europe has a tendency to stay light out past twilight hours. It was always daylight until 10pm so even appropriate sleep for locals seemed impossible. Most people dined at 8 or 9pm and socialized until 2 or 4am on a weekday. 

The best advice I could give is never to travel like I did. Never. Ever.

I would have chosen a more elaborate hotel my first few days. You need something luxurious if only for one day. Allow yourself a traditional setting where you can communicate, get comfortable and sleep well. I should have had in-room wifi since I didn't have a carrier sim for my phone. I should have had access to things around me like restaurants, a pharmacy etc. I should have arrived days ahead of meeting anyone and given myself a proper sleep schedule. Of course there was no way to predict my travel trauma but there was ways I could have prevented it. I didn't properly research my first hotel stays. I didn't realize how long I'd have to lug all my bags to those said hotels. I pretty much thought I was invincible to jetlag and all of the above. Three countries and multiple time zone changes later I now know the consequences. I would also say get a seasonal forecast before buying clothes and or packing. I thought Summer was everywhere at the same time but it just hadn't come where I was going. I was so unprepared for the weather and overstocked on things I wouldn't use for over a month. Six vampire days later I was good to go. Sadly, my first days in France were recovery from my first days in France. My dream turned nightmare and I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy.

Traveling The World In A Day Part I

My voyage to Europe in one word ... different. I left North Carolina to have a layover in Miami, then I went from there to the UK, took a train from London to France and another train from Paris to Nantes. It was an amazing journey but extremely tiring and at times very confusing. I really tried to pack it all in with absolutely no clue on what I was doing. International travel is hard on the body and senses. The time is changing. The language is new. You may not eat right. Your feet swell. You smell awful. You can't find anything. Seriously read and practice all you want to prepare for it - you can't. I seriously don't know how celebrities and business types do it. My dream of traveling was a nightmare.

iForgot

I forgot twenty very important things - an unforgivable act - don't do this...