Trouble In Paradise

I really thought Malaga was going to redeem everything. This was a last ditch effort to make things right. I'd already bought my tickets to return to Paris. However, I hadn't bought any tickets to actually get home from there. My mother was pretty much sitting on cash for me decide what to do. I knew the longer I waited to decide I wouldn't have enough money or wind up stranded. So I pretty much put my best foot forward in being a friend. Was I really going to leave this trip early? There was still so much to see and do. I just had no idea what it was I wanted or what I could end up missing. So I let each day make the decision for me.

Our first night in Malaga was perfect. We honestly had a great time that evening and we were enjoying each other. We had a few mishaps in the room trying to get the shower to work properly. My phone charger had went kaput and I was using hers. To add insult to injury we both had our periods and were sharing tampons. There was a fine line between we're in this together and we're besties for life. For me, it was all about teetering on that line, saving face and pretending nothing bad had ever happened. She had bitched so much about me not being a contributor to daily plans I really made an effort for us to find things to do. So the next day we set out to the beach. I picked up brochures about things while out. I was always making plans while she was walking ten feet ahead. 

So while walking to the beach I'd forgotten about her ruined tanned lines. I didn't realize how important the laying out thing was for her. I thought we'd be there an hour tops. I didn't even wear a suit and chose to rent a chair with an umbrella. There was plenty of unshaded sand next to me but she chose to move about 100 feet down. I could barely see her but I was made to watch her stuff. A chapter in a book, some Spanish GQ articles, a few games of Candy Crush later I didn't even know where she was. Again, she had swam so far out no one could see her. I'd actually been trying to use the little bit of French phone service I had to call someone. I was really scared she had drowned or something. When I finally caught up to her I'm sure she could sense the anxiety in my voice but she just laughed it all off. She was amused that I even cared. 

I don't know what happened between there and dinner time. However, at some point she told me she was not hungry. I believe it was when we were entering the hotel discussing later plans. She explained that she was going to just relax. I think I gave her some sad spill about not really being able to dine alone because Malaga wasn't the type of place to grab pizza or a sub and take it back to the hotel. I believe her response was like "well do whatever you like." So I think I wound up at Taco Bell which was irritating. I finally came back to the hotel and endured her watching unedited "Jersey Shore" for hours on end. When I finally decided to shower I had an incident which involved flooding the bathroom with a rogue shower head. I believe her reaction to that was "relax!" as I stood covered in water with water running down the hotel rooms walls. I'd asked what did she do to the shower because she always showered first. She gave me this crazy explanation of being short and living with tall men and always leaving the shower head in a place of convenience for them. I think I shouted what did you do again at her and her response was "I stood under it." So at that point I'd pretty much had it with her. Meanwhile, she's using my tampons and I'm stuck asking to use her phone charger. The line was no more, we we're officially frienimies.

I'd noticed that she wasn't eating in general. She was avoiding breakfast, snacking on granola bars and skipping any mutual meal. It was annoying to say the least. I'd taken to my blog on it because I felt her abstinence was fat shaming. She was doing all of the above to make me feel guilty. If she didn't join me she was ensuring that I wouldn't eat and/or be miserable. So I made the effort to ask where was the local grocery store, I'd bought the usual suspects yogurt, salami, crackers, cheese. I was not about to be in the room starving. I'd also given up in asking if she would accompany me anywhere or be willing to do anything. I figured if she came to Malaga to be bitchy then I'd follow suit. So the next evening when she decided she would also not eat I simply left. I decided at that point she was being abusive to herself and quite moody about it. I immediately went to get a SIM card. I had to be able to communicate if she fell out from anorexia and exposure.

She explained to me that she was broke. She explained that she could no longer afford to eat. She didn't really bring up my debt but it was implied. So I explained that I had been giving her money and my mother should have deposited more money to her. The reality is I was really beating my mother up on a daily to repay her for me. Her bank was two hours away from my mother, so she was forced to make deposits to her dad's account and he worked so there was always a serious delay in getting her money. However, she never asked about that. She always chose to go on these strange binges and then sneakily watch me spend my money. I was contacting my mother all the time to ensure things were being given to her in a timely fashion but I had zero control over it. Even if I had 40 Euros and offered her 20 right there she'd decline it. It was some strange unspoken principle about having all of her money at once so I could watch her squander it and still not eat. 

That evening I had my second meal alone. I sat in a McDonald's watching people board the ship to Morocco. The only difference was now I had a working phone. So I was able to really explain just how horrible things were to friends and family. My mother asked me multiple questions about her character and if I needed to come home sooner. I didn't have answers for her. Here I was staring into Africa eating a McDouble with tears going down my face. I was in a beautiful place, with a horrible person and I just didn't know what to do. My mother convinced me to go back to the hotel and attempt to reason with her. After all, there was still the remainder of Spain and Italy. Yeah, that worked oh so well. The remainder of the week was a roller coaster of arguments, spats in the street, drunken apologies and jealous stares. The trip emotionally ended that very evening. So it became all too easy deciding on a date to come home. 

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