In The Case of Dating An Alien: A Tale of Caution and Frustration

When I got out of my situation in late 2014 I promised myself to be happy. For me happiness involves being invested in good people, being loved, sharing insights and living life as intended versus whatever everyone else thinks. I put down my laptop for just shy of a month and I insisted upon meeting someone who could reward me for all my sacrifices. I looked for this said individual under every rock. I also told my mother and family friends that when I found him I would dedicate myself to settling down. I even threatened to marry the first man I met and have a child within one year of meeting him. The day I got back I met someone. In fact, the exact moment. While I was vague with him about my life, he was rather forthcoming with me. He explained that he had been on his own since age 14, estranged from his parents, had come to this country chasing a girl and now worked ungodly hours to make up for lost time. I understood everything. Or so I thought. Within weeks we were dating or "fake dating" as I called it. His European senses made everything so damn formal. I just wanted to get to know him and immediately it had to be dinner over a tablecloth. While it was unusual in my dating experience to be wined & dined, I'm not going to say I didn't like it. I loved it. He showered me in affection, we talked on the phone for hours and I felt I had met if not "the one" but a proper candidate as planned. 

And then the lights dimmed out.

Touche Touchet: Relationships and Romance Abroad

I honestly never had an opportunity to really clarify how I felt about everything that occurred in Nantes. I did mention how my friend and I totally discussed this happening or not happening rather - well before we left. I recall discussing this over the phone and in person. Most conversations surrounding the trip were between us coming home from work. Her walking to or from the subway and me in my car making random stops. I remember clear as day sitting in my car after work under the glowing lights of Publix. I explained that I hadn't had sex in a few years and I'd also found it very hard to get past the "getting to know each other" phase. I'm human first and foremost. I'm over 30 which is a very important factor in why I am single. I'm also Black which burdens me in the relationship leading to marriage department. I am okay with my own personal experiences and the statistics I face. I don't treat any of it like a death sentence and most of the time I'm content. However, I was quite concerned about going abroad with no action in sometime. I expressed that we both had to have a fling or two before traveling so far away. We both joked about being "Taken" or married off to French princes. In both scenarios I don't think either one of us wanted to be the American prudes. So in my opinion it was high time we both dated and whatever happened should just happen.

Secrets & Lies

Staying in Nantes was a logistical mess. I'd stayed at a remote hotel. My next hotel was more of a transient motel. So I stayed at one of the dancers for a week. Then I moved into my longest stay, an apparthotel. Everywhere I had stayed or was supposed to stay was in a circle. This time though there we're things around me. I had a bakery, a grocery store and a closer tram stop. I also had a large balcony in my room. I booked the place for 16 days and I took a room for two. While in the states she had convinced me that she would stay at my place when her friends returned. So I made sure to have the room cleaned and maintained for two. This meant extra linens and turning down the sleeper bed. I spent most days sleeping in and then going in my friends direction to meet up later in the afternoons. We also had the dancers keeping us quite busy. And her friends were to return soon. She explained that she may need to get out of their way when they returned and would definately need to stay with me during her finals week. However, having dropped her course I had really didn't know when to expect her, if all. So I pretty much kept the room up just to be alone.