I realized this message belonged to a specific person months after I returned home. I had never scrolled up to try to figure out who it was. When I did I was looking for something entirely different. I'd forgotten about it. So when I found it again, I took the screen shot because things correlated to present day.
This is the first and only person to notice they were deleted and say something. They turned out to be the main person who started the everything in the first place. They turned out to be a person that continually aggravated several situations. I didn't know it was this person when I received this message. The reality is I didn't know who this person was and at the time I had no way to respond. I was in an airport with no service. I tried to reply a million times and I simply couldn't. I kept thinking whoever this was would get a million desperate messages from me beamed down from whatever server way too late. I don't know if that happened or not. The reality is I traveled four countries in less than 24 hours. I came home. I slept. I forgot.
They posted the original suggestive IG about Trayvon. It wasn't literal. I believe it was supposed to be funny. A satire. A dig. A joke. The amusement was to be contained to a small circle of people who just didn't get it. It was never about race. It was more about death. To elaborate - the unwanted, unwarranted, unexpected death of a child. It wasn't just any child either - the incident occurred right around the corner. It happened near this persons house and about 20 minutes north of our job. There just wasn't really anything to poke fun at. However, they found something laughable about it. I'm certain when they did it, it felt harmless. Technically, it was harmless; it was more disrespectful. Then to watch minorities and mothers comment on it - it just got out of hand.
If you'll notice the last message before asking - well it was in 2011. That is how often we "talked". We mostly saw each other at work. We had been to each others homes. We attended social events and met there. I went to a wedding. They attended my birthday. We bought each other gifts. We weren't close and there was no way to gauge any reaction to anything either one of us posted, said or did. They didn't personally think of me when they posted that.They didn't think of anyone for that matter. Neither did the people who continually commented and liked it. So I guess I owed this person an explanation and maybe I'm wrong for never giving it in the first place. Hence my new Facebook rules. Maybe if I would have said something it could have prevented a lot of unduly events thereafter. Frankly, everything could be unrelated. If so, I really didn't need that relationship to begin with.
If I could answer a year later I would say virtually the same thing I tried to. They would reveal who they were and I would talk about the above. I don't think this person would defend themselves, apologize or try to diffuse things. It's way too late and unnecessary for all of that. We really didn't have this bond or friendship where there could be an understanding. Depending on the timing of it all I would add a tad more information. I would probably ask some questions of my own. As I have said in my last post I'm not sure what irritated them more - the fact that I could be offended by what was posted or that I simply deleted/blocked them. I guess the rest of the conversation would continue or stop based on that. It would provide a ton of clarity around all the things that happened well after them asking and so long after the trial, the trip etc. I can say this person had been offensive before and wasn't worthy of my consideration. The difference between then and this incident is that I was unable to address it in person. The one time things became insensitive and cruel is when I was away. Otherwise, I'd always confront them and we always agreed on pretty much everything.
So yeah, why did I unfriend them?
Well lets just assume this person needed to prove something - not to me, or anyone in particular - they needed to prove something to themselves. So I allowed them to do that by ridding myself of them and their constant need to figure it out.
That is why we are "un-friends" and I'm sure they have a lot of friends who would have gladly taken my place.
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