Feeling Good

FYI I wasn't on the verge of anything. I was just thinking of ways to re-route my life. I had been out of work for nearly two months. There was only $46 left of a combined severance and late commission check in my bank account. The kindness of friends and strangers alike kept the lights on and I was beginning to think this was the end. My Etsy account never took off. While I'm pleased that people favorite everything, I can't eat off virtual hearts and Pinterest shares. I had begun to apply for up to fifteen jobs a day. I wasn't using auto-fill and at times I was forced to reformat my resume; it was a chore. The unemployment process was confusing and ultimately denied my denial and asked that I apply again in a month. I had a decent interview cancel on me. I had another offer me a different role that I had already settled for. I interviewed and basically begged for the job and an hour later I was hired. I got a job! However, I got it on two hours of sleep. On tears of desperation. With an i and n missing in the word "maintaining" on my spell-checked, proofread and professionally printed resume. I got it in $15 tax week pants and humidity soaked hair. I also got it halfsies for it is basically temp work under the guise of a career move. So all the while I dreamed of backup plans - of winning the lottery or switching majors to fine arts. I watched videos of installation projects as thesis and I prayed that the government wouldn't shut down when I won. Now I work in an office bustling with people. I use a Windows computer and I actually like 10. I sit in the hallways on my lunch reminiscent of high school and I wonder if they like me. However, all of this is evidence that I and I alone control my own destiny. No one has won the Powerball and the deadline for Maine's intensive is in February. I still have unemployment. I still have North Carolina. I still have an Etsy. I now have a cat. I have several new and free coffee mugs. I pick new hairstyles to wear off YouTube every night. I have friends in low and high and far places. I also have a hundred people to talk to about this or that. And I'm getting paid for it. I even upgraded myself with a SunPass. Things are looking up I guess. I'm feeling good.